Signs you're note ating enough mayo

It's separated, and when you stir it back together, it's more of a souplike consistency.

Ewww. Yet for some reason, unopened mayo is shelf-stable, so I had two more in my pantry - one of the few things I had left, yay shopping on Saturday.

Sriracha mayo is fantastic. Try this out.

three slices rye toast
feta cheese
sliced hangar steak (or any cheap, tough meat - you slice it thin, that's the trick)
juice of half a lemon
mint
parsley
sriracha mayo (mix sriracha into mayo. if you fuck this up, relax, breathe, and try it again. Mine starts innocuous, then zings me with chili before backing off - there's no long afterburn. If you like afterburn, add more. also, make it in something that's not wide and flat. I made mine on a glass dish, and it wasn't ideal. a coffee mug would work fine. no need to whisk unless you're anal-retentive - little globs of mayo just make it interesting)


assemble as follows - one slice rye toast,
sriracha mayo, seared hangar steak, feta, mint and parsley, squeeze of lemon.

Mayo the underside of the next piece of toast and repeat.

Top with one piece of bottom-mayo'd toast.

Eat on a plate you don't like, then think about something you want to forget, and smash the plate.

Coming up next: I have no idea. but right now I'm thinking about pork fries.

Yes, I realize that makes no fucking sense. That's one of the reasons it amuses me.

I always loved Cuban roast pork. What if you did it to a tenderloin with Thai seasonings via an outer spice rub and a bunch of injections...and fried it like a turkey?

a tenderloin wouldn't cook all the way through like that. You'd need to butterfly it.

Maybe cut it into strips

Beer-battered tempura strips...

Ladies and gentlemen, Cuban/Thai pork fries.

That one was stream of consciousness - my thought process preserved as a blog post. Pretty cool.

g-d, i need to stop eating this mayo...