Absurdly Meaty Pasta Sauce

1 can Furmano's chunky crushed tomatoes with basil, oregano, and garlic
1 can Hunt's Four Cheese sauce
6 cloves garlic, pressed
half a big knob of ginger, ground or chopped medium
1 kielbasa
1 package maple sausage
canned artichoke hearts
1 block marble jack or cheddar (not sharp) cheese

Process the garlic, ginger (peel first!) and artichoke hearts. You could food-process the lot right now, or brown it in the pan first. I want you to brown it in the pan, cause it'll make yummy brown fond on the bottom which we'll then release with the crushed tomatoes. Set that pot on high and turn your attention to a skillet and paper towels for draining the meat after it gets all tasty.

Those cook together while we brown and drain the kielbasa (cut into thin rounds) and maple sausage (broken up into small pieces). Wipe out the grease but leave the brown bits if they're not burnt, then transfer some of the tomato mixture into the skillet. Toss it around to deglaze, then add everything back to the main pot.

Add the canned sauce. Put on medium and cook until it's the way you want it. Add much fresh black pepper and the cheese. Poke the cheese around while you stir the sauce, and it'll eventually break up. Keep stirring, and it'll permeate throughout the sauce. Yummy.

Fried Ravioli with Thai Cream Sauce

This one really gets the kitchen dirty, but if your ravioli fry better than mine, it'll be great.mine's still yummy. the sauce makes it.

Take ravioli out of package.
Deep-fry it. (no, I don't fucking know what temperature - mine didn't stay crispy)
mix coconut milk, chunky italian herb spaghetti sauce, fresh-cracked black pepper (I have a grinder now, so get used to this ingredient) and salt

i'm food-logy. so good.

3d Pong!

Vector Ball: 3dimensional brain exercise

You wish your mom's brussel sprouts tasted this good

15 brussel (brussels?) sprouts
two slices bacon
butter
salt
pepper

peel the sprouts.
hold the root end with your left and slice rounds with your right.
(thinner slices = tenderness and faster cooking, but if you can't cut it thin, at least cut it evenly unless you want a mix of firm and tender)
cook the bacon in the pan.
eat it.
leave the fat.
add the butter to melt.
get it hot.
toss the veggies in.
let them sit for a bit.
flip it a few times.
let it sit longer.
flip a few.
repeat until sprouts are way reduced (greens always do this) and season with salt and fresh black pepper. Taste for softness first, then for flavor.
look for slightly translucent sprout with good browning. brown, as always, equals flavor.
If you're hardcore like me, eat it out of a Pyrex measuring cup with a plastic fork and then go out for barbecue.