The perfect scrambled eggs

Trust me.

You need a ten-inch skillet, heated, but not hot. Keep it on medium, with butter coating the cooking surface - rub the stick on it. Too much butter will fuck things up.

I do three eggs at a time. Crack them into a small cup, stir viciously with whatever floats your stirring boat, and pour into the skillet.

Let it sizzle for a few seconds before pushing from the bottom up with your spatula. Done right, a layer of cooked egg will push up, clearing your skillet until the liquid egg on top rushes in to fill the void. Repeat this from side to side and top to bottom until they're just about done. Don't chop with the spatula - just push.

Transfer to a plate and add black pepper. Some swear by sriracha, but I prefer Thai Kitchen's red chili garlic sauce. The 'ach just doesn't do it for me on eggs.

Also, chill your eggs. I like to add a little milk and occasionally shredded cheddar, but stick to mild cheese. Sharp cheeses overpower the egg flavor, and if you don't want to taste the eggs, eat some fucking cereal.

Finally, brown some sausage in your skillet without oil. Wipe it out with a towel, and then cook eggs as described above - you'll deglaze the yummy sausage fond into your plate o' scrambled.

Ideally, at least one of the finished

I was writing my mom an email

and this recipe was born. Hi Mom!

3 a.m. spaghetti

1 box whole wheat angelhair
half a kielbasa
1.3 pounds ground turkey - 97 % lean
1 can prepared tomato sauce
1 can crushed tomatoes
sprinkle of brown sugar (you need the sugar to counteract the acid in the tomatoes)
less cinnamon than you'd think. It goes great wtih tomatoes, but a little goes a LONG way.
1 onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, chopped.

Put the sauce and crushed tomatoes into a pot. Put on low and cover. Brown the meat (in a skillet), then the onion and garlic in its grease. (turkey - seasoned with black pepper on medium heat, then kielbasa on medium-low followed by the onion and garlic on high, always moving. As stuff browns, add it to the sauce. After everythig's in, stir to combine and leave for ten minutes. Come back, taste it, then adjust with salt, pepper, and cinnamon.

You should have put some water on to boil first. If you did, the pasta will be done by the time you prep the sauce - add it to everything, stir to combine, cook on medium for a few minutes, then stir again. Sprinkle with Parmesean and serve.

This is quite a lot of pasta - probably enough to eat for all my meals today with leftovers. it fills my red ceramic pot and a nice-sized plateful to boot.