Ow

There is nothing like a bowel movement consisting entirely of Cheez Whiz.

That fucking hurt.

As if I needed any more reasons to never enter a cheesesteak-eating contest, ever.

Ow.

Paste-poached pork shoulder.

So this is something a little bit different. I have been obsessing over Mark Bittman's pernil recipe for months, and finally bought a big hunk of pork and did it like he said.

The result was good, but not great. Reason? I used the picnic ham, not the boston butt.

This time I made the paste like so.

A few heads of garlic
two large white onions (Vidalia would be lovely)
two Pink Lady apples
orange juice
lemon zest
juice of one lemon (watch the seeds! fishing is painful)
whole black peppercorns
kosher salt
a few grinds of black pepper
one habanero, ribbed and seeded (wear gloves.

Chop and otherwise prep everything. Core but don't peel the apples - their peels are the best part. If you have extra peels, this is a perfect use for them. Cook for a couple hours on low until soft. Blend until it's paste. Make sure the blender has enough liquid to process the fruit - precooking makes this much easier. A food processer would let you skip the precook and that's how I'm doing it next time.

Then rinse and pat-dry your pork. Put it and the paste in a zipper-seal bag overnight